Parting is such sweet sorrow

Friday, July 17, 2009

I don't remember when it happened. I just remember being surprised at how real and perplexing my feelings were. How could it be that just when Gui and I start to get serious and down-to-business about our plans to move back to Texas, I begin to have emotional attachment issues with my current home? I suppose it was crazy for me to never consider that I'd be sad about leaving Paris; that I'd miss the place and people; that I'd be nostalgic about our impending departure. Well, I am.

Although nothing is set in stone, yet, there is a very real possibility that I could be employed before heading back from our upcoming Texas vacation, meaning that our far-flung plans to live back in Austin could be a reality before the year is over. We've started the paperwork for Gui's green card, and despite what we've read on websites and forums, the lovely lady at the consulate told us that we could have the answer to our petition in just a few months (given that we do and provide everything that we're asked to). 'Gotta hand it to us Americans for our efficiency.

Still, as the possibility of leaving Paris looms over me, I find myself feeling overwhelmingly conflicted about my sentimental feelings. This is not going to be as easy of a step to take as I had presumed, and that makes me both surprised and concerned. What if we're not making the right decision to move back now? What if we fall on our faces? What if I get there and realize I want to be back in Paris? Well, I don't really know the answers to any of these questions, but I suppose I'll never know without giving it a shot, right?

As far as my career goes, nothing would be better for me than to be back in the States where I can more easily gain more work experience and continue my education. Obviously, as far as my family is concerned, with two new nephews on the way this year, there's really no place like "home." But, it's knowing how enthusiastic and optimistic Gui is about moving back to Austin that puts it all into perspective and makes me realize that we really are making the right move despite my ambivalence. His willingness and excitement to leave the comfort of his home, family and friends to support my career and start a new life abroad really motivates me to make it work. And, man do I want to make it work!

So, if all goes as planned, and things like the unemployment rate or sweltering hot summer don't cause us too much grief, we could be calling Austin home again in a few months, and that makes me squeal with delight! Even if it also means I'll be shedding some tears while bidding à bientôt to Paris.


Anna said...

How about you give me YOUR right to live in Paris and I'll let your husband use my passport for a few years?

Anonymous said...

OMG!! I had no idea it could be that soon!! Are you interviewing in TX next week when you come?? I am SO excited and thrilled that Gui feels very comfortable with the idea too...i know it will be sad in a way for both of you but as long as you're together, the Plan will work out! Can't wait to see you very soon!

Oh, and yes, it would be great to have you and Gui around more to enjoy your total of FOUR NEPHEWS! (I can't believe it as I type that out!)

Anne said...

And keep in mind that nothing is'll both still have your childhood homes and families on either side of the Atlantic. And who knows what will happen two, five, ten years from now? Life has a way of presenting you options you never dream existed.

misplaced texan said...

Anna, if only it were that easy. You'd have yourself a DEAL!

Can, I haven't lined anything up yet, but I'm hoping to do some interviewing in August. I'm so excited for the trip!!

Anne, thanks for that. It's true, so many things have happened in my life that I never dreamt could happen, so I'm optimistic. Right now, we don't plan to be in the US forever, but we're going to live as happily as we can and let life happen. We're just grateful to have the opportunities we have.

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